From a young age through fairy tales, we were brought up to believe that there is such thing as fate, destiny and the one when it comes to love. After fairy tales, came the high budget romantic comedy movies from Hollywood, further displaying the fact that there is such a thing in life. I now believe that both sexes are guilty of leaving their love lives to chance.
As a result of Hollywood movies and the fairy tales we’ve come to believe that true love is the product of fate. We’ve all been lead to believe that someday it will just ‘happen’, that some day fate will drop the person of our dreams right next to us while we’re walking down the street. The fate-will-bring-me-love-approach lacks urgency, which leads to lack of action. We all assume that ‘when the time is right’ the right guy will come along, and in the meantime, we focus on our work, ambitions, our families, our friends, our hobbies. That’s not to say that these aren’t highly fulfilling aspects of our life in their own right but I think when we leave things to chance, weeks turn into months, turn into years turn into panic.
With so many male & female friends currently single, I’m now coming to the realisation that fate really isn’t co-operating. Life is full of people who wait. They wait for someone to show interest for fear of being rejected, they wait to be invited and they wait to make a move. They wait until they feel confidence to make a move. Wait, wait, wait for everything. Waiters believe that they are playing it safe but after experience, there are two things come out of waiting – the wrong thing or nothing. I guess, it’s like being in business, there is only one way to wait – and that is – do nothing. But there are thousands of ways to create, so the opportunities are endless. So after discussing this possibility with the group of singletons, we’ve now decided to take a proactive approach & go out and find them!
So, from now on, we set the challenge to the girls to chat to as many men as possible, even if we’re not interested. We decided that we needed to cast a wide net when it came to meeting a guy. So often, you see people simply settling. I’d rather remain single any day than settle because of the fear of being single. I suppose too, it comes down to confidence and how you perceive yourself. I asked one of the girls what she was looking for in a man and she gave me a huge list ‘confident, charming, successful, charismatic, honest, loyal, caring’ etc… Funny, rarely do either sexes place huge emphasis on the physical when looking for a partner. But, when she listed out her high expectations (which we all deserve), I asked her what her qualities were in herself? Sometimes people can be unrealistic with expectations but I think we all have a right to look for high value, particularly if we ourselves are of high value.
So, our tactics have now changed. We’ve stopped believing that fate will drop the person of our dreams right in front of us. It looks like a fun Summer of dating is ahead.