Are we over sharing?

We’ve all had those conversations with our girlfriends…. You know the ones that start with “OMG you won’t belief what (insert boys name here) did….!”. But whilst you think divulging your biggest relationship secret is helping you deal with minor problems, you could actually be causing bigger ones.

Chatting about boys and sharing relationship problems with your friends is what us girls do. It’s part of our DNA. Get a group of girls together and it s a pretty sure thing that within 10 minutes, a boy and something ‘unbelievable’ or ‘unfathomable’ that he’s done will be the chat topic.

There are definitely positives to sharing. It can help you see things from another perspective and it can help get rid of that stress from holding it all inside and driving yourself crazy from playing a chat over and over on your head and trying to work out why it (that last message/his decision to go out with his mates instead of you) happened or what it means. But don’t be fooled that the good outweighs the bad when it comes to over-sharing. Discussing everything about everything can cause some serious downfalls. You need to be careful what you say and how you say it, otherwise you could find yourself in a situation where your bestie hates your guy and refuses to go out if he’s going – all because after a chat with him you decided to forgive him for having lunch with that flirty girl from his office, while she still thinks he’s a complete moron for doing it. And if you forgive that guy who got a bit carried away on a lads night out and got friendly with a girl, will your mum be so understanding? Unlikely. She’ll probably hate him forever. Of course you need to share your life with your friends, otherwise it wouldn’t be much of a friendship. But when it comes to relationships, there are something’s you should never share. Here’s why…

They may hate him – there will be times when you’ll just want to rant and vent because your guy is being annoying or spending too much time with his mates and none with you. But when you start going into specifics you’re playing a dangerous game. Your family and friends only want the best for you, so if your guy starts to look or sound bad, they will start to dislike him.
They will NEVER forgive a cheater – if some,one cheats on you and you bin them, go wild. Tell ALL of your friends of now much a scumbag he is. But if you’re working it out, NEVER tell your friends that he misbehaved. You may forgive him because you love him, but your friends love you, so they never will.

They’ll get bored – your boyfriend didn’t send the text “Hey listen, sorry about earlier….can we chat tonight?” to Mary Jane and Sabrina, so do they really need to see it? NO! Keep all mails and messages away from the eyes of your friends. Well away. They’ll probably get bored and by default begin to hate him.

They won’t be able to help with the big stuff – complaining about your guy to your friends is a bit like going home to stay with your parents once you’ve moved out. It’s fine with small amounts but too much can be bad. If you keep telling about daily bickering your friends will eventually just wonder why you don’t dump the jerk and move on.

I am an Event Creation & Production Manager based in Cork. I am in final year Law in UCC and also have a love for Politics. I am a former candidate of TV3 The Apprentice and current panelist on TV3 Elaine. I am also a regular radio contributor and a professional event MC and host.

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